My oldest daughter recently had an appointment with Louisiana Rehabilitative Services (LRS). I met her and her DSP there. Mostly because I had sent them by themselves once before and it did not work right. But that is another issue.
Anyway the appointment brought it to my attention, again, how different my daughters are even though the both have Autism Spectrum Disorders, ASD. Part of the testing at LRS was cognitive.
The oldest daughter know alot but there are holes in what she knows. Or at least that is the best way I can describe it. She knows this but she does not know that. Then at some point you realize the holes get bigger and bigger.
The second daughter also knows alot, actually a whole lot. There are just cracks in what she knows. At first you do not realize it. There might be one little part she does not know.
It's not until you start to press her on what she knows till you realize how wide and deep those cracks go. She does not know what to do with what she knows. Like she might know HOW to wash her hair. She does not know how to make it work for her.
The other thing is she does not believe she has to even wash her hair. The soap and water hurt. It's sensory. I understand it bothers her that much. She just does not get that her hair is dirty, unhealthy, and or might bother other people.
That is part of the problem, people think she does not want to comply. Her lack of understanding is so much more complicated that that.
I think this is a very important point to make. The older I get (I'm 25), the more I'm realizing that I do have gaps in my knowledge that my parents never considered because I give off an intelligent vibe. I'm just not aware of what those gaps are until I am faced with one directly. I'm not able to just make a list of them because I don't always know what I don't know.
ReplyDeleteSomething to keep in mind as she gets older might be to keep a list of her areas of difficulty, which it sounds like you probably do already, at least mentally, from being her parent for so long. It also might be helpful to keep a list of her needs - you mentioned in a later post her need for a doctor to ask very specific questions. That way, if she's comfortable, she can start to be up-front with people in different situations about what she needs in order to be able to handle that situation properly. This is actually the point I am at right now - trying to discover what my needs are and where those gaps are, and then working with someone to figure out what I can do about them.
I really appreciate your comments. Some days I wonder if I'm headed in the right direction.
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